iPhone 7 Announcement: Much Ado About Nothing

This month I am upgrading from my well used iPhone 4S, to the very spiffy iPhone 6S. I will also be replacing my iPad 3rd Gen with a new iPad Pro. While I am an avid advocate of all things Apple, I am also a big “ain’t broke, don’t fix” kinda guy. I never bought into the “OH! It’s new! I simply MUST have it” culture that Apple has cultivated over the past 20 years since Steve Jobs revived the ailing brand.

Like every other Apple fan, however, I was watching the Apple “Special Event” on Monday for the presentation of new goodies. When James Corden came on screen and the Carpool Karaoke scene played out, I thought “oh, this is gonna be good!” As the keynote began with the usual “best ever’s” and “incredible’s”, I eagerly awaited the announcement of something groundbreaking. Well, it was groundbreaking alright, but more along the lines of a resounding thud rather than a world changing idea.

iWorks? Well Sort Of…

While still relatively young in the world of productivity, iWorks continues to play catch up with the big boys in this space. Even with the risk of doing a live demonstration of the new Real-Time Collaboration, there was nothing breathtaking with the additions to the suite. In fact, while the folks from Apple were busy patting themselves on the back, I was busy collaborating in real-time with one of my clients, in Google Docs and Sheets (but at least it was on my MacBook Pro, so I didn’t feel like too much of a traitor).

Apple Watch

Again, nothing much to see here. Even the new names inspired a collective “meh”. New processor, GPS added, new partnership with Nike, new ceramic model. Nothing really exciting. Certainly nothing to grab the penny-pincher in me and give it a good shake yelling, “TAKE MY MONEY!” If anything, I was inspired to look back at the newly named Series 1 watch. When the updated older model is more interesting than the new model, you know that there’s something wrong with your product launch.

iOS 10

I get the impression that Tim Cook’s version of “jam-packed with new features” — and my version of that phrase — are very different creatures. While I am glad that I can finally open and work with non-native apps using Siri, I am not sure why I should be beside myself with excitement over the fact that Messages has more silly animations in it.

In fact, with Facebook recently announcing that you can now video chat in Messenger, my Messages app may soon be replaced on the dock of my iPhone. The list of improvements to native apps (like Map) and the expansion of others (like Home Kit) is fine, but hardly, as Cook stated, “the best ever” (there really should be a drinking game for his Apple stage announcements).

Drum Roll, Please: iPhone 7

“It’s the best iPhone we have ever created!”, Cook announces from the stage. Well, one would hope that the next version of anything you create would be better than its predecessor. Here, again, there was nothing really groundbreaking in the execution. Slightly new design, more features for the Home button, finally water resistant, new camera (although with the same pixel density as the iPhone 6S). To be honest, Phil Schiller could have gotten on stage and used an appropriately edited version of his announcement for the iPhone 5 and no one would have noticed (come to think of it, he might have done just that).

Air Pods, Where Pods?

There are 6 sets of Apple Ear buds in my house. At any one time I “might” be able to find 2 of them. Bluetooth wireless ones? I might as well just hide $159 in my house, in hopes of discovering it come Spring Cleaning. Pass!

The Takeaways

Overall, the only things of real interest were the long overdo arrival of Super Mario to the iPhone platform. Could it be that Apple has made the logical connection between Pokémon Go, fitness, and the investment that it has been making in ConnectED?

Other than that, it was an hour and a bit that I kinda wished I’d spent doing something a little more productive. THIS is where Apple needs to be a little concerned. I have been an Apple fan and user since the days of the Apple IIe. My home is a virtual iDevice warehouse, with every family member using at least 2 different iDevices — along with a plethora of MacBooks and iMacs. When a dyed-in-the-wool fanboy like me is left with a distinct feeling of being unimpressed at the end of the grand reveal, it should be considered the harbinger of things to come.

Remember, there is no Steve Jobs to the rescue, this time, Tim.