Shocking Secrets Of The Social Media Elite
Shocking Secrets Of The Social Media Elite
by Jason Falls

I’ve learned a lot traveling about and getting to know the social media superstars over the last couple of years. Most of them, I’m proud to call my friends. After today’s post, I’m sure there will be a few in question. Because it’s high time someone shed a little bit of light on the reality of who these people really are.

Here’s a list of 16 social media big-wigs and some little known facts about them.

Chris Brogan
Chris Brogan

Chris Brogan

Is actually Amish. And makes delightful butter-based food products.

Todd Defren

Rarely makes appearances outside Boston because of an obligation to the Federal Work-Release program.

Charlene Li

Has an invisible jet and can lasso the hell out of bad guys.

Shel Israel

Names each room in his house. Bathroom? Shitterville.

Scott Monty

Scott Monty?
Scott Monty?

Astonished no one has recognized him from his previous job as Sesame Street game show host Guy Smiley.

Valeria Maltoni

Once killed a man with her bare hands for mistaking her for being French. Day in her honor declared in seven European countries.

Chris Heuer

Met wife Kristie Wells in the studio audience at a taping of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

Kristie Wells

Too embarrassed to admit her drunk studio tour ended by eloping with a guy she thought was Leno.

Geoff Livingston

Geoff Livingston's Personal Brand. (Photo by lunaweb on Flickr.)
Geoff Livingston's Personal Brand.

Routinely asks people if they’ve heard of Livingston Communications, hoping they say, “no.” Fist pumps when they say they’ve heard of Geoff Livingston.

Jeremiah Owyang

Paid his way through college as a Chippendale’s dancer. And he wasn’t half bad … or so I hear.

Brian Clark

Has slept with four celebrities, including Dennis Rodman.

K.D. Paine

Suffers from a crippling form of arithmophobia — the fear of numbers.

Matt Cutts

¿Dónde está su hall pass?
¿Dónde está su hall pass?

In the history of Rowan County High School, is recognized as its best hall monitor ever.

Liz Strauss

Has five championship titles from her days as a vicious hit woman for the L.A. T-Birds roller derby team.

Darren Rowse

Owns a shaved and trained Koala he calls, “Mini Blogger.”

Robert Scoble

Tuck a buck?
Tuck a buck?

Still recovering from the disappointment of realizing Rackspace wasn’t a strip club.

So that’s what I’ve learned. Now it’s your turn. Hit the comments and tell me what you’ve learned about them … or me. Heh.

Editor’s Note: If it’s not obvious none of these are factual and each was meant as a playful joke to remind us to laugh at ourselves from time to time, then yes, the Government is out to get you and Bill Gates does remember that one time you waved at him from the 26th row of that keynote. Go listen to Beatles records backwards.

Also, the image of Geoff Livingston is courtesy of  lunaweb on Flickr.