Shocking Secrets Of The Social Media Elite
Shocking Secrets Of The Social Media Elite
by

I’ve learned a lot traveling about and getting to know the social media superstars over the last couple of years. Most of them, I’m proud to call my friends. After today’s post, I’m sure there will be a few in question. Because it’s high time someone shed a little bit of light on the reality of who these people really are.

Here’s a list of 16 social media big-wigs and some little known facts about them.

Chris Brogan
Chris Brogan

Chris Brogan

Is actually Amish. And makes delightful butter-based food products.

Todd Defren

Rarely makes appearances outside Boston because of an obligation to the Federal Work-Release program.

Charlene Li

Has an invisible jet and can lasso the hell out of bad guys.

Shel Israel

Names each room in his house. Bathroom? Shitterville.

Scott Monty

Scott Monty?
Scott Monty?

Astonished no one has recognized him from his previous job as Sesame Street game show host Guy Smiley.

Valeria Maltoni

Once killed a man with her bare hands for mistaking her for being French. Day in her honor declared in seven European countries.

Chris Heuer

Met wife Kristie Wells in the studio audience at a taping of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

Kristie Wells

Too embarrassed to admit her drunk studio tour ended by eloping with a guy she thought was Leno.

Geoff Livingston

Geoff Livingston's Personal Brand. (Photo by lunaweb on Flickr.)
Geoff Livingston's Personal Brand.

Routinely asks people if they’ve heard of Livingston Communications, hoping they say, “no.” Fist pumps when they say they’ve heard of Geoff Livingston.

Jeremiah Owyang

Paid his way through college as a Chippendale’s dancer. And he wasn’t half bad … or so I hear.

Brian Clark

Has slept with four celebrities, including Dennis Rodman.

K.D. Paine

Suffers from a crippling form of arithmophobia — the fear of numbers.

Matt Cutts

¿Dónde está su hall pass?
¿Dónde está su hall pass?

In the history of Rowan County High School, is recognized as its best hall monitor ever.

Liz Strauss

Has five championship titles from her days as a vicious hit woman for the L.A. T-Birds roller derby team.

Darren Rowse

Owns a shaved and trained Koala he calls, “Mini Blogger.”

Robert Scoble

Tuck a buck?
Tuck a buck?

Still recovering from the disappointment of realizing Rackspace wasn’t a strip club.

So that’s what I’ve learned. Now it’s your turn. Hit the comments and tell me what you’ve learned about them … or me. Heh.

Editor’s Note: If it’s not obvious none of these are factual and each was meant as a playful joke to remind us to laugh at ourselves from time to time, then yes, the Government is out to get you and Bill Gates does remember that one time you waved at him from the 26th row of that keynote. Go listen to Beatles records backwards.

Also, the image of Geoff Livingston is courtesy of  lunaweb on Flickr.

About the Author

Jason Falls
Jason Falls is the founder of Social Media Explorer and one of the most notable and outspoken voices in the social media marketing industry. He is a noted marketing keynote speaker, author of two books and unapologetic bourbon aficionado. He can also be found at JasonFalls.com.
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  • KatFrench

    It makes them more aerodynamic, silly!

    They can type at least 20 wpm faster bald.

  • KatFrench

    It makes them more aerodynamic, silly!

    They can type at least 20 wpm faster bald.

  • Gracias. Do you memorize your Facebook id number or did you copy-paste that? Interesting.

  • Gracias. Do you memorize your Facebook id number or did you copy-paste that? Interesting.

  • Okay, now you're going to get me in trouble. Heh.

  • Okay, now you're going to get me in trouble. Heh.

  • Thanks Lara. We're a troll-friendly community here. But thank you for the validation. heh.

  • Thanks Lara. We're a troll-friendly community here. But thank you for the validation. heh.

  • Thanks for the feedback, Karthick. I guess my humor isn't up your ally. As long as we both recognize that's not good or bad and can live with it, we'll be just fine. The good news is that I don't try to be funny very often. Hope to see you back again.

  • Thanks for the feedback, Karthick. I guess my humor isn't up your ally. As long as we both recognize that's not good or bad and can live with it, we'll be just fine. The good news is that I don't try to be funny very often. Hope to see you back again.

  • Never trust a man. Especially if he's your brother. Heh.

  • Never trust a man. Especially if he's your brother. Heh.

  • Facebook User

    niceee….LOL!

  • Facebook User

    niceee….LOL!

  • niceee….LOL!

    • Gracias. Do you memorize your Facebook id number or did you copy-paste that? Interesting.

  • Jason Falls

    Secretly prefers blackberry schnapps and tonic with a cherry to Maker's on the rocks.

  • Jason Falls

    Secretly prefers blackberry schnapps and tonic with a cherry to Maker's on the rocks.

  • Jason Falls

    Secretly prefers blackberry schnapps and tonic with a cherry to Maker's on the rocks.

    • Okay, now you're going to get me in trouble. Heh.

  • Not sure what's up with the trolls – these are hilarious. Thanks!

  • Not sure what's up with the trolls – these are hilarious. Thanks!

  • Not sure what's up with the trolls – these are hilarious. Thanks!

    • Thanks Lara. We're a troll-friendly community here. But thank you for the validation. heh.

  • Karthick

    Not one of those statements was funny. Either you need to work on humour or I need to learn to appreciate yours better.

  • Karthick

    Not one of those statements was funny. Either you need to work on humour or I need to learn to appreciate yours better.

  • Karthick

    Not one of those statements was funny. Either you need to work on humour or I need to learn to appreciate yours better.

    • Thanks for the feedback, Karthick. I guess my humor isn't up your ally. As long as we both recognize that's not good or bad and can live with it, we'll be just fine. The good news is that I don't try to be funny very often. Hope to see you back again.

  • i'm just wondering how you found out … my brother Angelo or my brother Pasquale told you … Damn them!!

  • i'm just wondering how you found out … my brother Angelo or my brother Pasquale told you … Damn them!!

  • i'm just wondering how you found out … my brother Angelo or my brother Pasquale told you … Damn them!!

    • Never trust a man. Especially if he's your brother. Heh.

  • Why are they shaved? That doesn't seem like an efficient use of time. ;)

  • Why are they shaved? That doesn't seem like an efficient use of time. ;)

  • Actually I have 10 mini shaved blogging koalas – that's how I get so much done :-)

  • Actually I have 10 mini shaved blogging koalas – that's how I get so much done :-)

  • Actually I have 10 mini shaved blogging koalas – that's how I get so much done :-)

    • Why are they shaved? That doesn't seem like an efficient use of time. ;)

      • KatFrench

        It makes them more aerodynamic, silly!

        They can type at least 20 wpm faster bald.

  • No worries, my man. I obviously need a legion of filters anyway. Heh.

  • No worries, my man. I obviously need a legion of filters anyway. Heh.

  • Humor is subjective and a matter of opinion. Fortunately, we appreciate everyone's here at SME. Thanks for the feedback.

  • Humor is subjective and a matter of opinion. Fortunately, we appreciate everyone's here at SME. Thanks for the feedback.

  • Maybe I should have said: “Sorry for being unable to read this morning.”

  • Maybe I should have said: “Sorry for being unable to read this morning.”

  • BloggersDIAF

    link – http://www.google.com
    name – bob

    there ya go. doesn't change how utterly inept and pointless this blog is.

    “Has an invisible jet and can lasso the hell out of bad guys.”

    OH HAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA LOOOOOOOOOOOL HAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHA.

    no.

  • BloggersDIAF

    link – http://www.google.com
    name – bob

    there ya go. doesn't change how utterly inept and pointless this blog is.

    “Has an invisible jet and can lasso the hell out of bad guys.”

    OH HAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA LOOOOOOOOOOOL HAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHA.

    no.

  • Well done man :)

    BTW … I think @chrisbrogan might have grown up near 8 mile by Eminem.

    Frank Barry
    Director, Professional Services
    Internet Solutions Division
    ___________________________________________________
    Phone: 858.795.8947 | Fax: 858.795.3010
    frank.barry@kintera.com | http://www.blackbaud.com

  • Well done man :)

    BTW … I think @chrisbrogan might have grown up near 8 mile by Eminem.

    Frank Barry
    Director, Professional Services
    Internet Solutions Division
    ___________________________________________________
    Phone: 858.795.8947 | Fax: 858.795.3010
    frank.barry@kintera.com | http://www.blackbaud.com

  • KatFrench

    You know, I've never been so grateful to have missed that particular year's prom-themed Louies as I am right this minute…

  • KatFrench

    You know, I've never been so grateful to have missed that particular year's prom-themed Louies as I am right this minute…

  • Thank you! I love it when a plan comes together. I'd address you by name, but of course you didn't leave one … or a link. Ballsy, that.

  • Thank you! I love it when a plan comes together. I'd address you by name, but of course you didn't leave one … or a link. Ballsy, that.

  • True that, sir.

  • True that, sir.

  • Thanks Frank. Just hoping to lighten the load on a Monday. Appreciate the comment.

  • Thanks Frank. Just hoping to lighten the load on a Monday. Appreciate the comment.

  • You could wonder twin powers … activate?

  • You could wonder twin powers … activate?

  • C'mon, B. You can do better than that. Heh.

  • C'mon, B. You can do better than that. Heh.

  • Jason Falls secretly desires to be a woman.

    http://tinyurl.com/3gac4s

  • Jason Falls secretly desires to be a woman.

    http://tinyurl.com/3gac4s

  • But Heuer looks nothing like Letterman. Leno, maybe. If you squint.

  • But Heuer looks nothing like Letterman. Leno, maybe. If you squint.

  • Nice. Just so you know, the streets will start to smell better soon.

  • Nice. Just so you know, the streets will start to smell better soon.

  • BloggersDIAF

    Short, catchy, imaginative, very very funny. Your post is none of these things.

  • BloggersDIAF

    Short, catchy, imaginative, very very funny. Your post is none of these things.

  • BloggersDIAF

    Short, catchy, imaginative, very very funny. Your post is none of these things.

    • Thank you! I love it when a plan comes together. I'd address you by name, but of course you didn't leave one … or a link. Ballsy, that.

      • BloggersDIAF

        link – http://www.google.com
        name – bob

        there ya go. doesn't change how utterly inept and pointless this blog is.

        “Has an invisible jet and can lasso the hell out of bad guys.”

        OH HAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA LOOOOOOOOOOOL HAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHA.

        no.

        • Humor is subjective and a matter of opinion. Fortunately, we appreciate everyone's here at SME. Thanks for the feedback.

  • The real shocking fact is that there is a “Social Media Elite” !!

  • The real shocking fact is that there is a “Social Media Elite” !!

  • The real shocking fact is that there is a “Social Media Elite” !!

  • I have nothing to add … just thought i'd let you know i got a kick out of this :)

  • I have nothing to add … just thought i'd let you know i got a kick out of this :)

  • I have nothing to add … just thought i'd let you know i got a kick out of this :)

    • Thanks Frank. Just hoping to lighten the load on a Monday. Appreciate the comment.

      • Well done man :)

        BTW … I think @chrisbrogan might have grown up near 8 mile by Eminem.

        Frank Barry
        Director, Professional Services
        Internet Solutions Division
        ___________________________________________________
        Phone: 858.795.8947 | Fax: 858.795.3010
        frank.barry@kintera.com | http://www.blackbaud.com

  • Charlene Li and I certainly need to put our superheroine social media powers together. :)

    I always knew something was up about Chris Brogan. ha ha

  • Charlene Li and I certainly need to put our superheroine social media powers together. :)

    I always knew something was up about Chris Brogan. ha ha

  • Charlene Li and I certainly need to put our superheroine social media powers together. :)

    I always knew something was up about Chris Brogan. ha ha

    • You could wonder twin powers … activate?

  • Jason Falls: Secretly counting the days until he can ditch his PR/social media gig for life as cowboy in the great outdoors.

    Note: learned of this *other* side of Jason at SXSW 2009.

    Bryan | @BryanPerson

  • Jason Falls: Secretly counting the days until he can ditch his PR/social media gig for life as cowboy in the great outdoors.

    Note: learned of this *other* side of Jason at SXSW 2009.

    Bryan | @BryanPerson

  • Jason Falls: Secretly counting the days until he can ditch his PR/social media gig for life as cowboy in the great outdoors.

    Note: learned of this *other* side of Jason at SXSW 2009.

    Bryan | @BryanPerson

    • C'mon, B. You can do better than that. Heh.

  • If you were to poke fun at yourself, or if they would poke fun at you in a short blip, what would it be?

  • If you were to poke fun at yourself, or if they would poke fun at you in a short blip, what would it be?

  • If you were to poke fun at yourself, or if they would poke fun at you in a short blip, what would it be?

    • Jason Falls secretly desires to be a woman.

      http://tinyurl.com/3gac4s

      • KatFrench

        You know, I've never been so grateful to have missed that particular year's prom-themed Louies as I am right this minute…

  • Check your sources please. It was actually Letterman. ;)

  • Check your sources please. It was actually Letterman. ;)

  • Check your sources please. It was actually Letterman. ;)

    • But Heuer looks nothing like Letterman. Leno, maybe. If you squint.

  • I freakin' knew Brogan was Amish. I mean he is from Maine like myself and we just got the horseless carriage last year ;).

  • I freakin' knew Brogan was Amish. I mean he is from Maine like myself and we just got the horseless carriage last year ;).

  • I freakin' knew Brogan was Amish. I mean he is from Maine like myself and we just got the horseless carriage last year ;).

    • Nice. Just so you know, the streets will start to smell better soon.

  • Actually George, the sentence reads, “NONE of these are factual.” But thanks for covering my butt. Heh.

  • Actually George, the sentence reads, “NONE of these are factual.” But thanks for covering my butt. Heh.

  • I think you meant to say that “these are NOT factual.” Sorry to be the pesky copy editor.

  • I think you meant to say that “these are NOT factual.” Sorry to be the pesky copy editor.

  • I think you meant to say that “these are NOT factual.” Sorry to be the pesky copy editor.

    • Actually George, the sentence reads, “NONE of these are factual.” But thanks for covering my butt. Heh.

      • Maybe I should have said: “Sorry for being unable to read this morning.”

        • No worries, my man. I obviously need a legion of filters anyway. Heh.